I’m not someone to follow. I’m not. I’m just an ordinary girl from Ohio doing the best she can with what she’s got. Sure, I have gifts and talents, education and understanding in certain areas, and passions in others; but I am just another 40-something year-old woman.
I like that I am ordinary, to be honest. God can do extraordinary things with ordinary people. I was fearfully and wonderfully made by Creator God, and so were YOU! We were made to worship and FOLLOW JESUS. I am a mess, but God is turning my mess into a message. In my ordinary status, I am changing each day, but…
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8 ESV
I haven’t always liked myself. I guess you could say puberty was challenging. It included braces with headgear, the skinniest legs, and some wild frizzy side ponytails. Back then all I had to compare myself to was ‘Teen, Just Seventeen, and Glamour magazines; and I was definitely not fitting into those Guess jeans like the catalog image! The move from elementary to junior high (for me 6th grade was elementary and 7th was junior high) was pivotal to social status, and I joined the culture of struggling teenage girls and began to develop my identity in how others viewed me.
I have been through a lot, but really, we all have. That’s why I embrace being ordinary. I endured five concussions between the ages of seven to twenty-two, changing my brain forever. My father is a high functioning alcoholic. My parents would rage fight when I was in high school over the stress of a mystery illness in my sister (later diagnosed as Multiple Sclerosis).
I understood that it wasn’t about me, but it was terrifying. I have endured sexual violence, having been flashed, groped, and raped. I have been strangled by boyfriends, and drugged at parties. I have been broken by other ordinary people like most people living in the world have.
As a yoga instructor I have been told that I can’t teach or do yoga with Jesus. I have been shamed to quit the practice to stay in God’s good graces – yoga was anti-Christian for them. I have been told to wear more/less clothes or more/less makeup. I have been told that because I can’t handstand or do a full split I shouldn’t teach. I have been told my body type isn’t conducive to an “all inclusive” class. I have been told my hair is too long for my age. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone has been through a lot.
In all their suffering [Jesus] also suffered, and he personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years.” Isaiah 63:9 NLT
I am ordinary. I can’t rescue you. I am not someone to follow. Yes, God can do extraordinary things with ordinary people, but I would like to encourage you to follow the one who is truly worthy of being lifted up. Jesus is extraordinary. Pursue the one that created you! As humans we make mistakes - we sin and we carry the scars of sins done against us.
We say and do hurtful things sometimes, not because we want to be harsh or cruel, but because hurt people hurt people. We may be on the path toward healing, continuing to reconcile our pasts and strive for restoration, but honestly, we all continue to have broken pieces of ourselves. Yes we can rise up to be good people or community leaders, but please don’t put me or any other instructor or human leader on a pedestal. The only scars that offer salvation and redeeming grace are those on Jesus’ hands and feet! FOLLOW JESUS! He has been raised up to the right hand of God, and He alone is worthy.
“As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross, my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world's interest in me has also died. It doesn't matter whether we have been circumcised or not. What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation. May God's peace and mercy be upon all who live by this principle; they are the new people of God. From now on, don't let anyone trouble me with these things. For I bear on my body the scars that show I belong to Jesus. Dear brothers and sisters, may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.” Galatians 6:14-18 NLT
Published Spring 2022, Christian Yoga Magazine
Unsplash Image @upstreamyoga
